Spoonful Test Blog

Monday, March 31, 2014

Tragedy has struck.

I'm a little sad.

I'm sure you didn't mean to make me sad.

And I forgive you all.

...for letting me slip to #11 on Top Mommy Blogs.

IT'S SUCH A TRAGEDY.

I mean, it's really not.  But if you wanted to vote for me ALL THE TIME once a day you could probably do that and it wouldn't bother me too much.

Also, I don't know that I've ever told you why I like getting votes on Top Mommy Blog!  ...except for the fact that getting voted for is super fun.  It's almost like I'm one of the popular kids.


Anyway.

I started this blog with the intention of keeping track of my life...but it has become such a fun place for me to tell stories, tell people about the things I love (diapers, anyone?), and keep everyone in the loop as to what's going on in our life.

Because everyone is obviously wondering what's going on in my life at all times, right?

Getting votes on Top Mommy Blogs means that more people see my blog.  I can't even tell you how fun it is for me to get emails or comments from people I don't know asking questions about baby led weaning and cloth diapers!  I love that my silly little blog can help people make decisions regarding parenting...although I'm definitely not a parenting expert in the slightest.

I have also gotten the opportunity to try some really great products that I never would have tried without this blog.  And that means that I get to tell you about great products, and even give some away!

For real, we have some great giveaways coming!  One starts tomorrow...I hope you're ready!

So if you would like to keep voting for me, I would appreciate it so much!  Just click either the lady at the top right of my blog or the banner at the bottom of each post once every 24 hours!  It will take you to the Top Mommy Blogs website...and that counts as a vote!

If you REALLY love me, you can also vote from your phone once a day.  But only if you're really my friend, okay?

And if you would like to leave a nice comment about my blog, you can do that using the "Rate my blog!" button underneath the voting lady at the top right!  It doesn't count as a vote, but it makes me smile...and you all know that I have a very, very beautiful smile.

I had to move my glasses down so you could see my gorgeous eyes.  And you can ignore my fuzzy hair...Gibson was "playing" with it earlier.  He's a peach.

So.  If you want to see that beautiful face again, vote or rate my blog!  Or, better yet, do both!

Or neither!

Also, if you really, really want to see me smile, you can give me ideas on getting my molar-cutting child to stop screaming at night!  Teething tablets and Tylenol aren't working very well for these teeth.  Do I need to resort to Ibuprofen?  TELL ME NOW!!!  I'M VERY TIRED!!!!!!

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Gibson's dowel rod

We have a four-foot-long dowel rod sitting around our house.  Because...why not?

Gibson has decided to love the dowel rod.

He likes to find it, pick it up, and crawl around with it in one hand.  Which is slightly terrifying to me.

I can just imagine him stabbing Ellie in the eye with it, or whacking himself in the head.  Or, even worse, smashing the television with it.


"NOT THE TELEVISIONNNNNNNNNN!!!"

We really enjoy television in the Spit Up household.  Obviously.

I usually take the dowel rod away, but what if Gibson is supposed to be a famous javelin thrower someday and I'm keeping him from being all he can be?

Who am I to stop my child from being a famous javelin thrower?

So.  If I stop blogging sometime soon it's because Gibson has smashed the tv and I'm in mourning.

...I obviously don't love the television THAT much.  Only about as much as I love Ellie.  And cheesecake.
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If you were my real friends, you would vote for my blog by clicking the banner below.  And also buy me some cheesecake.  I don't have nearly enough of either of those in my life.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Saturday, March 29, 2014

It all started with an $8 shower curtain

Please click the lady to the right to vote for my blog today!  ------------->

The arrow is to help you in case you don't know left from right.  You're welcome.
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Once upon a time, Danny and I were at Big Lots.  And we saw an $8 shower curtain that we loved.

So we bought it!  We've been looking for a new shower curtain for the main bathroom, and this one was way less expensive than anything else we've seen that we like.

And then we put it up in the bathroom.  And it's beautiful.

But I realized that I didn't love the black vanity and mirror with it.  And I just couldn't let it go.

So I bought some paint!  And $60 and three days later, we have a beautiful bathroom!

Would you like to know what we spent money on?  I'll tell you!

$14--one quart of Glidden 2+1 semi-gloss paint in Misty Aqua
$5--Drawer pulls from Hobby Lobby
$4--Cabinet knobs from Hobby Lobby
$15--Metal flower art from Hobby Lobby (the most expensive thing in the bathroom)
$5--Metal flower towel hook from Hobby Lobby
$5--Metal bird art from...you know where.
$8--Blue floral shower curtain from Big Lots
$3--Cream bath rug from Big Lots

Ka-BLAM!  $59.  We didn't paint the walls, because who really has time for that?  And everything we bought at Hobby Lobby was 50% off.

I have something to say to Hobby Lobby:


For real.

I painted the vanity, the mirror frame, and the towel rack, all of which had been painted black.  This is when I was SO HAPPY to have gotten expensive paint instead of the cheap colored water my frugal self wanted to get.  Because it took two or three coats to cover the black instead of 53.  And I appreciate that.

Also, I would like to point out that I did this project almost entirely BY MYSELF.  I am woman, hear me roar and all that.  I even used the screwdriver with great success.

Except for the time I whittled away at a couple of screws until they couldn't be turned anymore.  Oops.

And now, without further ado, my new favorite room in the house!

Before: black vanity and mirror, red and brown shower curtain.  Just kind of dark.


Aaaaaand after!!!

Have I told you how much I love painting things?  Because I REALLY like painting things.

Hobby Lobby is the best.  How cute is that bird?

Also, the towel hook is my FAVORITE.  It's so cute I want to die.

There's that $8 shower curtain!

Cutie knobs!

There's my bathroom!  I bet you'll all want to come over and poop in it now.  I know I do.


If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Sick.

I'm sick.


You should all pity me.  Right now.

For real, though, this sucks.  I had what I thought was a sinus infection last week, and then it started to go away.  But now it's back.  With a vengeance.

WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS, SINUSES????

And today I've started coughing.  A deep, chesty cough that feels like a rabid squirrel is trying to claw its way out of my lungs.

And I can't breathe through my nose.  At all.  So I slept with my mouth hanging open last night. I probably swallowed eleven spiders.

And my throat hurts from all the mouth breathing and spider bites.  And my nose hurts from all the nose blowing.  And the couch next to me is literally covered in snotty toilet paper.

...we aren't fancy enough to buy actual Kleenexes.

Would you like to know the worst part, though?  WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW???

I can't taste anything.

I KNOW.  It's a travesty.  Yesterday for lunch I made some leftover chicken tacos with homemade tortillas.  Which were delicious the first time.

And I couldn't taste them at all.

The texture of tacos (or any food, really) without taste is the WORST.  It's a shame I keep getting hungry, because no food sounds good to me right now.

Oh, and would you like to know the OTHER worst part?

Even though I can't taste I can still (for some reason) smell a few things.  And the thing I can smell most is some sort of awful rotting animal smell in our house.  I can't figure out where it is, because when I sniff around the kitchen I can't smell anything.  And I'm pretty sure the smell isn't coming from the inside of my nose, because I didn't smell it in the basement or at Walmart.

When Danny gets home he's on bloodhound duty.  His mission: locate the source of the rotting animal smell and eradicate it IMMEDIATELY.

I hope you're all having great days.  And that you can taste your food.

...someone should taste a taco for me, ok?  I'll taste it vicariously through you.
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In addition to tasting food for me, you should all click the banner below to vote for my blog!  While you do that I'll go blow my nose.  Again.  And again.  And again.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

These are a few of my favorite things

Gibson isn't an easy child.

But isn't "easy child" kind of an oxymoron?

In any case, Gibson isn't easy.  You should all know that by now.  Luckily, I've found some wonderful things that have made our life easier!  And I want to share them with you!

Gibson is awful at eating large pieces of anything.  He doesn't realize that he can bite chunks off to chew...instead, he feels the need to shove the entire sandwich/tortilla chip/banana in his mouth and gag on it and then vomit.  Which is gross.  We used to cut his food up with a knife like idiots, but then we remembered the KITCHEN SHEARS!

And it was like heaven smiled upon us.  So we started cutting his stuff up with kitchen shears!  So much easier.  And THEN.  I went to a Pampered Chef party and found the LETTUCE CHOPPER.

http://www.pamperedchef.com

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

These are so ridiculously nice.  They have two blades, so it's like having two pairs of kitchen shears slicing away at Gibson's taco.  Or pasta.  Or toast.  YOU CAN CHOP ANYTHING WITH THEM.

And also they make me feel like Edward Scissorhands.  Just chopping away at everything.


CHOP CHOP CHOP!!

...ok, that's enough of that.  Let's talk about something else.

Our video monitor!  I love it.  So.  Much.  You can learn more about it right here!

I love being able to watch Gibson nap refuse to nap!  This is happening right now:


Oh look, he found a drum stick!  Perfect.

We can see the monitor on my iPhone, Danny's iPad, and our iMac.

We're an iFamily.  iGet over it.

But don't worry!  If you're a PC/Android lover (aka: a loser), you can still use this monitor!

Confession: I have a Microsoft Surface.  So we're obviously not an entirely Apple family.  But if it makes you feel any better, I don't really like it that much.

Also, I hope you know me well enough by now to know that I don't actually judge anyone for their technology choices.

If you don't know me by now, you will never never never know me.

...it's true.

So, Gibson's diaper changes have been pure torture for the past...long time.  I don't know how long.  Stop expecting me to be specific!  Anyway.  I have discovered that he really loves the Endless Reader app on my phone!


This app is the coolest!  You drag the letters into the correct spot, and while you're dragging them they come to life and make the sound the letter makes.  Gibson's favorite is the "n."  It goes "Nuh nuh nuuuuuuh nuh nuhhhhh!"

And then, once the word is spelled, it gives you sentence with three words to drag to the correct spot.  This is obviously kind of advanced for Gibson, but it was free!  There is a version without the sentence part called Endless Alphabet, but it cost money.  And I'm cheap.

In any case, he loves it a lot.  When he hears the music start up he stops everything and crawls to me as fast as possible.  Cutie.  And then he usually throws my phone across the room and yells at me while I change his diaper.

So.  It at least works to get Gibson to come to me for a diaper change.  Which is nice, because I sometimes don't want to go get him!  

Lazy, much?

Also on my favorite things list:
-Coffee
-Coffee
-Coffee
-Hyland's Teething Tablets
-Hyland's Cough Syrup
-Ellie the canine vacuum (she also falls on my least favorite things list)
-Baby Signing Time
-Coffee

If I could just get Rosie to come live with me, my life would be easy peasy!


She obviously wants to come live with us.  I can tell.

Now you should tell me what makes your life easier!  DO IT NOW.

Also, click the banner below!  DO IT NOW.

...but you don't have to do either of those things if you're really opposed, ok?

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Molar monster

Teeth.

I hate them.

Well, I like mine just fine.  But I hate Gibson's.  Because they're the worst.

The other day I realized that Gibson's second upper canine has FINALLY cut through.  Which probably contributed to his extreme grumpiness last week.

Why can't he get teeth in a normal order like other babies?  For real.  He has both upper canines but no molars.  Weirdo.

In any case, he has a molar about to pop through, and the other ones are on their way.  And his two lower canines are on their way.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS????

When all of those teeth come through we're DONE WITH TEETHING.  Until the two year molars.  But hopefully we'll have a break before then!

We haven't had a break in teething since he started getting his top teeth at 7 months.  He has had at least one tooth coming constantly since then.  And unfortunately for me, he's an awful teether.

I have friends who are like, "My baby woke up one morning and he had eight new teeth!  I didn't even realize they were coming!  His teeth must be soft like little pillows!!!"


In our house it's: "OH MY GOSH, GIBSON'S GUMS ARE SLIGHTLY SWOLLEN!!!  You go buy all the Tylenol and teething tablets you can find.  I'm going to pray for our sanity."

And then we wait a very long month and a half for the tooth to erupt.  All the while, Gibson is drooling and screaming.  And eating lots of Tylenol and teething tablets.

Sidenote: when I give Gibson his teething tablets I ask if he wants his "pills."  Someday someone is going to hear me say that and think I'm drugging him.  /end sidenote

So anyway.  The next few months while we wait for Gibson's teeth to come in will probably be torturous.  But I can get through it.  Because once these six teeth are in we're (hopefully) done for awhile.
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Click the pretty pink banner below to vote for my blog!  If you don't I'll make you babysit Gibson while he's cutting his molars.  No one wants that, I promise.  So just click it.  :)

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Monday, March 24, 2014

Cutie patootie vampire

Gibson has been so ridiculously adorable lately, it's not even funny.

...except sometimes it's super funny.  But you know what I mean.

So now I'm going to tell you about all the cute things Gibson is doing lately!  Hooray!

This morning I went to the bathroom and left him in the living room because he was playing so happily.  I heard him going "Muhmuh!  Muhmuh!"  And then I heard him crawling, and he popped his head into the bathroom and went "Ah HAH!" And started giggling.  I know he doesn't know what "Ah hah" means, but it was so cuuuuute!

Also this morning, I asked him where his baby was.  Usually he goes and grabs the baby by the foot and bangs its head on the floor (remember, he's not a very good daddy).  But this time he looked around and then pointed straight at my face and started laughing like crazy.

Also also this morning, I kissed Gibson on the cheek while he was holding his baby.  And then he kissed his baby on the mouth, complete with a big "Mmmmmmmmmmmuah!"

...and then he whacked the baby's head on his Mega Bloks.  But the kiss was still sweet!

He has continued to do his cheesy smile, but now it also happens when he's crying.  He tilts his head back, wrinkles his nose, squints his eyes, and cries with his teeth showing.  In case you wondered what this looks like, here it is:


That was actually a "smile," but it looks the same as the cry.  Just imagine that his head is tilted back a little more and his teeth are all showing and he's wailing loudly.  And then say a little prayer to thank God that he's my wailing baby and not yours.

Yesterday I was letting Gibson type a message to some friends, which is a huge treat since he never gets to touch the keyboard.  So he was typing with one finger (his preferred way to do everything), and then decided that typing with his lips might be better.  So he typed with his lips.  And I laughed hysterically, and then he laughed hysterically.

We're a hysterical family.

When Gibson is sad I put him on my lap and let him go backwards so he's upside-down.  He really likes it, and it usually cheers him up!  Except now he tries to fling himself backwards every time I hold him.  Which is obviously dangerous.

...maybe he's a vampire and just really wants to hang upside-down all the time?  I mean, it makes sense.  He doesn't like to sleep at night sometimes, and he likes to bite me.  And his skin sparkles in the sunshine!

Although that's from the glistening snot all over his face.  So he's probably not a vampire.

Thank goodness.

Yesterday at church Gibson was crawling around getting in peoples' way.  I picked him up to go back in the sanctuary, and when he saw Danny practicing with the worship team he started laughing really hard.  He loves his daddy and it's so SWEET.

Right now Gibson is sleeping quietly after a night of screaming and a morning of whining and crying.  Sleeping nicely is probably the cutest thing he's EVER DONE.
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It would be super cute of you to click the banner below to click for my blog today!  :) ;) :P :D :*

I'm good at emoticons.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Gibson's first haircut

Remember to vote for my blog everyday by clicking the lady to the right!  It's so easy, a baby could do it!

And actually, you could have your baby vote from their phone everyday, too.  That would help me out a lot, thanks.
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Gibson got his hair cut for the first time this morning!

...it's earth-shattering news, I know.

Lucky for him/us, one of our best friends is a hair stylist extraordinaire, and Gibson LOVES her.  So we figured it would go SO WELL!

Just kidding.  I knew from the start that it would be a train wreck.

Danny got a haircut first, because I thought it would make Gibson feel more comfortable to see Danny in the chair.

Hahaha!  Gibson doesn't pay attention to ANYTHING.  I'm delusional.

So my sexy husband got a very sexy hair cut, and he looks very sexy.

Sidenote: one time I got in trouble for saying "sexy" at daycare when I was little.  Apparently it's a "bad word."  /end sidenote

And then we sat Gibson in the chair, at which point he started SCREAMING.  So my phone became a Bubble Guppies machine instead of a camera machine.  That's the reason for the lack of photos.  Sorry.

We realized that he wasn't going to sit by himself, so I made the ultimate sacrifice and offered to sit with him and get covered in tiny pieces of hair.  Now the hair cutting could begin!

"Gibson, just sit still and we're going to chop off your rat tail with these beautiful shiny scissors!"

Hahahaha...no.

It turns out that Gibson is very, very observant.  Not even Bubble Guppies can distract him from a pair of very sharp scissors chopping away at his rat tail.  So it was obviously SUPER fun.

Luckily, we did get the rat tail cut off, but that's it.  Gibson has decided to be a modern-day Rapunzel and never ever get a hair cut again.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Friday, March 21, 2014

Happy Friday!

My brain can't make an actual post today, so here are things that have happened in our life recently!

Gibson has a double ear infection from all the allergy drainage.  Booooo.  But at least I know why he's been so grumpy!

We had to switch him to disposable diapers because antibiotics give him crazy poops, and therefore rashes.  And it's just easier to deal with in disposables.

The past couple of physical milestones Gibson hit (crawling and pulling up) happened while he was wearing disposables.  So maybe he'll start walking this time?

...I know there's probably no correlation.  I'm not crazy, don't worry.

Gibson slept for almost 12 straight hours last night with only one tiny wake up!  He hasn't done that in months!

I've been having dreams in which I wear shorts to church and then realize that I forgot to shave my legs.  I think my subconscious is telling me that I have man legs and I need to shave.

You don't even want to know how gross my legs are at the current moment.  Very gross.  Very very gross.

I have also been having dreams that Gibson starts walking randomly.  Danny has, too.  Apparently we really want him to walk.

Gibson is a drug addict.  He takes four medications before bed right now (Claritin, antibiotic, Hyland's cough syrup, and Tylenol), and he loves it.  The other day he found a clean syringe and tried to suck medicine out of it.

I'm ready for him to stop being sick any time, ok?

The best part about Gibson being sick is that he tends to have either a coughing or screaming fit right before bed that almost always results in vomit all over me.

We live a very charmed life, indeed.

Gibson has started standing by himself!  But he only does it when he thinks I'm not watching, and when he's standing next to something he can grab if he needs to.

He has also learned that there's a spot on the tv that can be touched to turn it on and off.  So he has started poking at the screen when it's off to turn it on.  Every once in awhile he gets lucky and turns it on, but usually he just spends five minutes poking around.

...he has obviously watched too much television lately.  Grumpy sick baby+grumpy sick mommy=lots of Daniel Tiger and Bubble Guppies.  Oops.

Um.  That's all I can think of.

Here's a photo of some corgi puppies to make your Friday happy!


Ellie is offended that I didn't share a photo of her to make your Friday happy.  But she's been a butthead lately.  So she can get over it.

Click the banner below to vote for my blog today!  And I'll send you some corgi puppies in the mail*!

*Not really.  I don't have any corgi puppies to send.  Sorry for lying.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Crazy mom

The other day I wrote a post about the rough week Gibson and I were having.  One of my sweet friends read that post and texted me to see if she could take Gibson off my hands for a bit while I did something without him.

I obviously said yes.  I love Gibson, but I definitely needed a break.

So yesterday morning I took him over to her house and went off on an adventure by myself.

I ate an Egg McMuffin!  In silence!

I went to Walmart and bought Gibson some $2 shorts and I didn't have tiny hands trying to grab the hanger!

I went to Aldi and actually looked at the food they have there.  Usually I rush out because my boys don't like browsing.

And then I went to Goodwill, where I found a brand new sweater for Danny!  Hooray!

It was SO NICE.  Except I have this weird thing where I feel really guilty when I go out in public without Gibson.

I mean, it's really weird.  I feel like people are judging me for not having my baby with me.  Because OBVIOUSLY they can tell I'm a mom.  And what kind of mom goes shopping by herself????

...one that needs a break to stay sane, that's what kind of mom.  And also the kind that doesn't want to deal with screaming children while she's shopping.  I don't judge other people for not having children with them when they're shopping, so why would they judge me?  I don't make sense.

But I still feel the need to let people know I have a baby for some reason.  If I start talking to someone in line, I slip in the information that I have a baby.  Or I smile at another mom in the baby clothes section and tell her how cute her baby is, and how my baby isn't with me because he's playing with some friends.

I'm sure they all think I'm crazy.  I can imagine the conversation she had with her husband:

"I was just looking for Billy's summer wardrobe at Walmart when a crazy lady came up to me and was like, 'Oh, you have a baby!  I have a baby, too!  He's just not with me.  He's somewhere else.  Your baby is very cute!  Are you going to buy those shorts for your baby?  I bought these shorts for my baby.  I'm a mom, too.'  She was crazy."


If you ever see me at the store without Gibson, please just humor me as I tell you about him.  Because although I truly enjoyed having an hour without tantrums, I tend to miss him when I've been away from him for more than two minutes.

Even when he's screaming.  I have a sickness.  And it's called unconditional love.

But really.  You would miss this face, too!


Also, Gibson wanted me to tell you all to vote for his mommy's blog today by clicking on the banner below!  Because his ears are full of infections and so are his mommy's sinuses.  We're quite the pair, let me tell you.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The worst daddy

Pretty please with sugar on top click that lady to the right!  You can vote once every 24 hours!  THANK YOU!
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Once upon a time, I read an article about why children should have baby dolls (you should read it, too!).  It spelled out the benefits of dolls, and I was like, "YEAH!  Gibson totally needs a baby doll!!!!  He would be so CUTE with a baby doll!"

I obviously only care about how cute Gibson is.  But the other benefits of baby dolls are good, too!

So we bought Gibson a Cabbage Patch baby for his birthday.  I was SO EXCITED to give it to him!  I imagined that he would rock his baby and feed his baby and kiss his baby.  Wouldn't that be the most adorable thing EVER?

But it turns out that Gibson is an awful father to little Albert Paxton.

He kissed the baby ONE TIME.  And it was the sweetest thing ever.


And right after he kissed his baby, he promptly tossed it on the ground.  As hard as possible.

And then he chewed on its fingers.

And then he got poop on it.


This is not what I dreamed would happen, Gibson!  You're supposed to be a kind, loving daddy!

...I mean, I know he's only a year old.  He doesn't play with ANYTHING nicely.  But still!

I try to incorporate baby Albert into the things we do...he learns sign language with us, plays with Mega Blocks, and rides around in Gibson's Cozy Coupe with him.

Except Gibson's favorite game is to toss the baby out the car window.  And laugh.

I'm scared for my future grandchildren.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Don't ask me that! Again.

One time I wrote a post about things you shouldn't ask strangers, and I ended up hearing from other people about the things they didn't like being asked.  And of course that made me remember a million (or maybe six) other awkward questions that I have been asked by strangers.  So here's my updated list (including the ones from the first post, because I like when my lists are all together and not separated into separate posts.  DEAL WITH IT.)!

1.  "Were you trying to get pregnant?"

This is an incredibly personal question, stranger.  You do realize that you're basically asking me about my sex life, right?  Weirdo.  And also, does it make any difference whether we were trying to get pregnant?  Absolutely not.  So why ask?

2.  "You do know how that [pregnancy] happens, don't you?"

No, I don't!  Please enlighten me!  I was pretty sure that an angel kissed my uterus, thus depositing a baby into it.  Is that not how it happens?  Because I DEFINITELY didn't have sex with my husband, if that's what you're implying.

3.  "Oh my gosh, you're huge!  Are you having twins?  Are you sure you're not farther along?  You're never going to make it to your due date!" etc.  Or the flip side: "You're so TINY!  Are you sure you're pregnant?"

Is your goal in life to make hormonal pregnant women cry?  Because you have SUCCEEDED.


4.  "Your baby is HUGE!  Did you have gestational diabetes?"

First of all, my baby isn't huge.  He's tiny.  If he were truly "huge," he wouldn't have fit inside of me.  Secondly, not that it's any of your business, but no.  I did not have gestational diabetes.  I just cooked a really big baby.  Stop it.

5.  "Were you able to give birth vaginally?"
My lady bits are none of your business, stranger at Walmart.  Just stop.

6.  "Is he a good baby?"

What exactly constitutes a "good" baby?  I mean, he hasn't murdered anyone or robbed a bank or anything.  And if he had committed a felony, I wouldn't be telling you, stranger.  I ain't no nark!

7.  "Is he on a schedule yet?"

No, my three-day-old isn't on a schedule yet.  I'm pretty sure that's normal.  Calm yourself.

8.  "That baby shouldn't be outside!  It's too hot/cold/rainy/sunny!"

Are you proposing that I never go anywhere ever again because weather is bad for my baby?  Because that's ridiculous.

And along with that one:

"Where is that baby's coat?  He's freezing!"

I promise my baby isn't freezing.  Do I look like someone who would freeze a baby?  No.  I can guarantee that he's wearing enough clothing.  And I can't put him in a big coat because it's not safe in the car seat.  I just can't win!

9.  "What do you do all day to keep busy?  Don't you get bored just staying home?  You should get out of the house more!"

So...I'm not supposed to take my baby outside when it's cold/hot/raining/sunny, but I'm also not supposed to stay at home?  I'm confused.

10.  "Are you nursing?  How is it going?"

Do you want a detailed description of the struggles we had with breastfeeding?  When you find out that we use formula, are you planning to lecture me?  If I tell you that I have insufficient glandular tissue are you going to tell me about all the supplements I can take to achieve a full milk supply?  I hate that I feel the need to explain to strangers why we formula feed, and that I'm terrified of strangers lecturing me when I'm buying food for my son.  Unless you're a close friend, family member, or a medical professional, I don't care to discuss my feeding choices with you.  Leave me alone.

11.  "Is he sleeping through the night?"

NO.  And please don't tell me all about how your life got flipped turned upside-down your babies slept through the night from day one because you fed them whiskey and lard with their last bottle of the day.  I don't want to hear it.  And also, there's no way I'm feeding my baby lard.

Also also, I'm sorry for that Fresh Prince moment I had right there.  Just kidding, I'm not sorry at all.

12.  "When are you going to give him a sibling?"

Are you really asking me this?  Because once I get pregnant I know you're just going to come back and ask, "You do know how that happens, don't you?"  So just leave me and my uterus and my family alone.  I have one very cute baby.  Isn't that enough for you, stranger to whom the size of my family shouldn't even matter?

13.  "WHY AREN'T YOU FINDING OUT THE SEX OF YOUR BABY???!??  YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT!  I'M GOING TO DIE OF SUSPENSE!!!!!"


Really?  Not knowing the sex of a complete stranger's baby is going to KILL you?  If that's truly the case, you need to get a hobby.

14.  "You shouldn't be out!  Don't you know if you fall on the ice your baby could DIE?" <Said to me while I was very pregnant and the weather was bad.

THANK YOU for warning me about the dangers of ice.  I did, in fact, know that falling could harm my baby.  Unfortunately, it's not possible for me to stay inside my house wrapped in bubble wrap for the remainder of my pregnancy.  Sorry.

15.  "You're a very young family!  How old are you, anyway?"

Why?  Whyyyy why why?  First of all, we're not that young.  25 is a very reasonable age to have children, right?  We just look like teenagers (which will apparently be wonderful when we're older, but it's just a pain in the butt now).  And why on earth do you need to know how old we are?  Is it so you can tell us that we're too young to have a baby?

16.  "You're too young to have a baby!"

And you're too old to be wearing that hot pink miniskirt, but you don't see me telling you how to live your life.


The moral.  Don't be crazy and ask me intrusive questions if you have never met me, and I won't write blog posts about it.

THE END.

The other moral: vote for my blog by clicking the lovely pink banner below!  KTHANKS.  LOVE YOU.

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Monday, March 17, 2014

Les Miserables


Gibson and I are having an incredibly rough week.  Every day since last Tuesday has been AWFUL.  I look forward to Danny coming home all day, because then I have another adult to share in my misery.

...and also because I love him and miss him when he's at work.  Of course.

I really hope that Gibson is sick and doesn't have allergies, because if this is what the entirety of allergy season will be like, none of us are going to make it through.  *dramatic sigh*

I'm obviously being hyperbolic, but it really has been terrible.

Gibson has been having tantrums at least four times an hour.  Things that are guaranteed to cause a tantrum include: diaper changes, clothing changes, nose wiping, face cleaning, hand cleaning, being tired, being given water when he doesn't want any, taking his food away when he's throwing it (every time he eats), trying to use the snot sucker, cutting his finger/toenails.

So...basically every single thing we do causes a tantrum.  I could probably avoid the tantrums by letting Gibson run around in a very dirty diaper with snot dripping down his face all day, but that isn't going to happen.  Because I don't want him to look (and smell) gross.

I've kind of failed at that, because he still looks pretty gross...his face has been covered in dried snot for a week.  Blech.

I'm so ready for him to be happy again!  It's just tantrum after tantrum all day long.  I feel like I spend my days wrestling him into diapers and clothes and being kicked while trying to cut his toenails.

...or talons, rather.  They're very long.  Because HE WON'T LET ME CUT THEM.  Does anyone know of a safe way to sedate a baby?

Kidding!  Kind of.

It hasn't been an especially enjoyable week, obviously.  And it doesn't look like the happiness is coming back anytime soon.

So we could use prayers, please!  This has been harder for me to deal with than his colic when he was little...probably because I got so used to having a semi-happy baby, and now he's almost never happy for more than ten minutes at a time.

And it doesn't help that I'm sick.  I thought it was allergies, but my bright green snot would indicate otherwise.  Hoorayyyy.

Ok, that's the end of my pity party!  Gibson is napping like a good boy, so I'm going to drink some coffee and blow my nose approximately thirty times!

And remember to click the banner to vote for my blog!  Because I'm sick and deserve some happiness today.
If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Winners! Photos! Weather!

Please click the lady on the right to vote for my blog today!

Congratulations to Camille and Kel for winning the ScriptureArt giveaway!  And thank you to everyone who entered!  Even if you didn't win, remember that you can use the coupon code spoon14 to get 10% off your entire order through the end of this year!  You get that just for being awesome.

Awesome=a reader of this blog.  Of course.


Don't you feel good about yourself now?  You should.

Yesterday it was BEAUTIFUL and we went to the park!  I was super excited to take some photos of Gibson outdoors for the first time in months...but of course we went when the light was awful and Gibson didn't want to participate in photo session time.

Because he's the worst sometimes!

But I did get some good ones of both my boys together!  They're the handsomest pair of boys I have ever met!



RIGHT?  They're so cute!  And I did get a couple good ones of my littlest boy when he wasn't aware that I was taking a picture.  Because when he saw my camera yesterday he ducked his head down so I couldn't see him.  Dork.

How cool is this kid?

Those feet just kill me.  I want him to sit like that forever!

So there you go!  Some cute boys for your dreary, cold morning.

Also, speaking of the weather, I'm mad at it.  Because yesterday it was 65 degrees and today the high is 32 or some crazy thing like that.  And it might snow.  Have I mentioned how much I seriously hate the weather in the Midwest?

Well I do.  Maybe I need to move to ... somewhere else.  Which state has the most moderate weather?  I NEED TO KNOW!

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Sippy cup art

Gibson drinks his milk from Munchkin straw cups that look like this:


We have five cups, and consequently five straws and lids. 

When I pair lids with cups, I like to make them as aesthetically pleasing as possible.  So the orange cup gets a red and orange lid, the blue cup gets the blue and purple lid, and the green cup gets a blue and yellow lid.

Of course!  It's normal to do that, right?

BUT IT IS!  I found out today that Danny also does that!  He doesn't have the same color system as I do (he's obviously wrong), but he still does it!

We're obviously a perfect match.  And completely normal.

...now I just need to convince him that my color combinations are the best.  Because his aren't very pretty.

...love you, darling!

You can enter the ScriptureArt giveaway through the end of the day today!  So go do it right >here<!

Also, please click the banner below to vote for my blog today!  And if you do weird color-coding things with your kids' things, let me know!  I like feeling normal every once in awhile.

If you like what you just read please click to send a quick vote for me on Top Mommy Blogs- The best mommy blog directory featuring top mom bloggers