Spoonful Test Blog

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Closet dog

I broke my no-coffee-drinking streak yesterday.

We went to Country Kitchen to eat dinner, and I had breakfast.  Because breakfast is the BEST.  Anyone who doesn't order breakfast when they go to a restaurant that serves it 24 hours a day is just wrong.

Anyway.  I really wanted coffee with my pancakes.  So they brought me a carafe of delicious coffee.  YUM.  I had way too much.

And then I couldn't sleep, of course.  I had really bad restless leg pain, which I attribute to the coffee.  And also I was just awake.  Darn coffee.  I hate you.  Slash love you.

*Sidenote: In college, I had several friends who thought that Restless Leg Syndrome was fake.  They thought the commercials for it were parodies, like on SNL.  IT'S REAL, YOU GUYS.  I HAVE IT.  My friends were obviously the worst. /end sidenote

Don't worry, I did fall asleep at some point!  It was just way later than I would have liked.

But then something AWFUL happened.


Ellie flapped her ears.

I KNOW.  It's the worst possible thing that could happen at 1:30 in the morning.

...if you don't know what Ellie flapping her ears sounds like, just watch a video of a helicopter flying.  It sounds like that.  Like FLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAP!  Except way louder.  More like FLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAPFLAP!

It's the worst.  THE WORST.

So, she flapped her ears and woke us both up.  And then we heard strange noises that sounded like someone knocking things over in the house.

Danny got out of bed and checked things out.  And he couldn't find Ellie.  We turned on lights, called her name...but she was nowhere to be found.

I had a hunch that she was in our closet, but when Danny poked around in there she didn't come out.  So I said, "Ellie, do you want a treat?"

And out she came!  Of course.  Stupid dog.  She was hiding in Danny's clothes for some reason.  And once she realized that there were no treats for her, she went right back into the closet.

What a weirdo.

I might start taping her ears to her head whenever someone is sleeping.  For some reason she ALWAYS flaps her ears right outside Gibson's room when he's sleeping.  Literally every time she runs down the hallway.  And it wakes him up, because her flapping is the LOUDEST THING ON THE PLANET.  Louder than a herd of elephants wearing tap shoes.  Louder than seven sperm whales playing bass drums.  Louder than a hundred Gibsons screaming!

...maybe not.  But it's at least louder than Gibson's white noise machine, which is what really matters in this situation.

It's truly unfortunate.  If anyone has an earless dog that they want to trade for Ellie, let me know!
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