I mean, I was childless for 24 years of my life. And then, three days before my 25th birthday, BOOM! Baby.
For whom I am entirely responsible.
If that's not scary, I don't know what is.
In any case, sometimes I kind of forget that I'm a mom. I'm young and hip! And moms are dorky and weird, right?
...not my mom, of course! She's super cool!
Well. It turns out that I'm definitely a mom.
At the parade last Friday, a clown walked by. He was a very surly-looking teenage boy in what looked like satin pajamas and a clown wig. And makeup, of course. And he WASN'T SMILING.
I mean, really. An angry clown wearing satin pajamas? That's terrifying for the children!
So I did one of these:
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On Wednesdays we wear pink! |
And he smiled! Success!
...and then I realized that I'M A DORKY MOM. And laughed a lot. And cried a little.
And then the clown walked behind me after the parade and I tried to hide. Because he could have been angry at me for forcing him to smile! And what if he was a murder clown???
Murdering me on the Fourth of July wouldn't have been very patriotic. So I'm glad he didn't.
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If you're cool and hip and awesome, just LEAVE.
...after you vote.

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