Spoonful Test Blog

Thursday, August 7, 2014

A day in my life

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5:58 AM--You hear a soft knock on Gibson's door.  It gets louder.  And louder.  And then Gibson starts squealing.  He's awake.  Oh good.

6:00--Your sweet husband gets up with Gibson, because he's literally the best.  And then you cry because he's going back to work next week.


8:00--You get out of bed, FINALLY, and go to the living room to find Gibson making a huge mess with his Mega Bloks.  He smiles at you and continues banging blocks into each other as loudly as possible.

For the next hour or so, Gibson runs around the house like a maniac, drumming on everything with the spoons he has stolen from the kitchen drawer (which he's now tall enough to reach. YAY).  He tries valiantly to flush both toilets, put his finger in outlets, and lock himself in the bedrooms.  You thwart his efforts, much to his dismay.

9:15--Gibson begins fervently signing "PLEASE!" and drags the huge Sam's Club tub of animal crackers over to you.  You let him get his own crackers out (because he's a BIG BOY, darn it!), and five crackers end up on the floor for Ellie.  She is elated.

9:20--Gibson throws his sippy cup forcefully at your face, signing "please."  Which means, "Mommy, I'm out of water!  Could you possibly pour me some more?  You are a kind and generous mommy!"  You get him more water, and he promptly throws the full sippy cup on the floor to leak while he runs in circles.

For the next hour and a half, he continues to play/run around/be crazy.  Or we go out.  It depends on whether I have showered.  I usually haven't.

11:00--Lunch time!  Gibson gets very excited to eat, and then refuses to touch his food.  OH GOOD.  Half of his sandwich ends up on the floor, much to Ellie's delight.  Gibson thinks it is SO FUNNY to watch Ellie eat his sandwich.  At some point you get fed up and say, "Are you all done, Gibson?" and he happily says "DUH! DUH!"  You take him out of the high chair and he runs around ecstatically.

11:30--Gibson is still running around happily, but you're absolutely ready for nap time.  So you tell him that.  He happily goes to his bedroom with you, and happily lays down and waves his blankie around.  Once you leave, he happily kicks the wall for twenty minutes.

During nap time you do whatever you want.  With no tiny fingernails poking you.

2:15--Once again, you hear a soft knocking at Gibson's door, followed by screeching.  Or sometimes you might just hear quiet babble.  In any case, he's awake.  For the next thirty minutes you will either be dealing with an inconsolable toddler or a wildly manic one.  It depends on the day.

2:45--It's snack time once again!  You can tell because Gibson is signing "please" and flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water.

After snack time, Gibson will run around like a crazy again.  For a long time.  And if you try to stop him, he'll yell at you.  And if you try to take the fork out of his hand so he doesn't poke his eyeballs out, he'll yell even louder.

5:00--Dinner time!  It's basically a repeat of lunch.  Lots of food on the floor, and a very happy doggy.

6:15--You begin to smell poop.  HOORAY.  You'll be putting a nighttime diaper on Gibson in 45 minutes, so you begin to wrestle with yourself.  Do I (*cough*Danny) change him now?  Or leave him in the poopy diaper for awhile?  I don't want to waste a diaper!

6:20--The smell is terrible, so you take his diaper off and let him run around naked.  The next 40 minutes of your life will be spent chasing him and keeping him from peeing on things.

7:00--It's time to get ready for bed!  Hooray!  Bedtime diaper, pajamas, milk!  Gibson is VERY EXCITED about all of it!  He runs around like a crazy person while you try and shove milk in his mouth.

7:15--Gibson is STILL EXCITED!  You take him to the bottom of the stairs and let him climb up a few times to try and wear him out.

7:20--SO MUCH EXCITEMENT!  You have a tickle fight that results in Gibson being hyper and you being tired.

7:25--Holy cow he's still excited!  You turn on a Pentatonix video and try to snuggle Gibson while he drinks his milk.  He steals your glasses and pokes you in the eye.  And laughs.

7:30--Okay.  No matter what, it's bedtime.  Even though Gibson is running around like a goon.  You put him in his bed, hand him his blankie, and leave.  He laughs for a second, and then begins to wail.  And then he kicks the wall so hard you're pretty sure there's a hole in it.

7:45--He's asleep!  You rejoice and break out the ice cream.  And then you watch a tv show that is sure to make you cry.  And then you go to bed.

THE END.

**Author's note:

Throughout the day, you will try to go to the bathroom alone many times.  It will never work.  Gibson will march into the bathroom yelling nonsense at you.  And then he'll steal the toilet paper and suck on the toilet sponge and drop toys in the bathtub and cry.  And then he'll shut the door and scream because he can't get out.  But you can't get off the toilet because you're busy expelling waste into it.

You should also try to do things like brush your hair and teeth when Gibson is otherwise occupied.  Because if you do either of those things without giving him a turn, you're the WORST MOM IN THE WORLD.  And if you do give him your tooth or hair brush to play with, he'll steal them and put them in the dog's water bowl.  And you, being tired, will still use them.  Because how dirty can the dog's water bowl really be?
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1 comment :

  1. Wow, this whole article made me laugh out loud a various parts lol.
    Thanks for making my morning a little bit happier!

    ReplyDelete

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